Why every doctor should have taken drama classes (and why you should never practice on kids).

Since it is obligatory to quote Shakespeare at least every 5000 words: “ all the worlds a stage, and the men and woman merely players” . According to Jacques in As you like it, men and woman live their lives in seven scenes describing their quintessential life fases.

Now this may hold true for most people, not for emergency doctors.

We daily report for another act and we are offered counter actors with varying amounts of proficiency or self respect. And yet, how bad these actors have learned their lines – it is all up to us to close dialogues, and continue the dramatic story in a logical way.

Now even though we, the doctors, are brainwashed in university that medicine is always the logical answer and even though we find ourselves confronted by thousands and thousands of medically unexplained symptoms, there are no acting classes in medical school.

Now to clarify and be very frank, I DO NOT MEAN ACTING WITH KIDS. For if there is one category of patients that will absolutely hate you for acting, especially if you are bad at it, it is the kids. Kids do not tolerate bullshit, Kids will tell on you, despise you and never trust you again in a life time. Adults however are simpler beings. They will not discover the acting, they want to believe you are genuine. If you say you feel sorry, they will feel it. If you tell them their complaints are very complicated, perhaps too complicated to be solved in the middle of the night by your humble night shift staff – they will sympathise.

Now are doctors good actors? Some of them are, some of them aren’t. But I can tell you that during medical school, residency and a later professional career, you are not tried and tested for it. Your yearly talk with the boss will not have a checkmark placed by acting skills. Your nurses will never confront you with it. They will say you have good or bad bedside manners, but will hardly every discover why.

So I urge you to do one thing today. If you are a healthcare professional and you know you sucked in the high school play, go online now, book an acting course and, what ever you do, DON’T PRACTICE ON THE KIDS.