So as my conference progressed I slowly started to realise I have by now accumulated enough knowledge on how to visit a medical conference that I am able to enjoy it to the max.
Why is this difficult? Well, you travel a thousand miles and if you don’t follow these instructions exactly as I write these down, you will feel disappointed, tired and hung-over every single time. Allow me to discuss the 3 rules to make your conference comfortable and worthwhile.
1. Time
As it is nearly impossible to sit through a full conference without needing a brake, it all starts with saying out loud to yourself (not to anybody else) what part of the conference you are going to skip. You will use this time wisely for a stroll through town, running in the park or recovering from your hangover. Deciding this up front will eliminate feelings of guilt
2. Play
On the plane to your conference, think of stuff you will actually monitor for fun and then tweet about it. As an example, for SMACC 2017 I counted powerpoint slides that are on my personal forbidden list. End result: 3 icebergs, 2 eye-of-the-storms and 1 pyramid: impressively good for a three day conference.
3. Flirt
As you are far and far away from home, there is no better place to flirt then a medical conference. You are surrounded by the brightest minds on the planet, they are just as alone as you (but are being dishonest about it) and you get to see them several days in a row. Now we all know flirting leads to nothing but despair – but I can take some after three days of solid fun, greasy smiles and perhaps a dance or two with a beautiful tall dutch doctor that happens to have bought a new dress for the conference party.
Next chance I have, I will make handouts of these for your convenience. Until then Remember: Time, play and flirt.
Dr. Gerard Rover MD 